I love my kids more than anything. So, I get it, how they perform is important to me. But their performance is not a reflection of my parenting, just a shadow. The most important elements of youth sports is passion- a love for their sport! Each of the following recommendation is related to nurturing their own passion. Remember, sport teaches whatever we want it to teach…

Here are 6 ways that sport parents are doing it wrong. (sorry)

1. Wanting it more than them-
I get calls every single week from parents wanting our mental coaching for their son/daughter. I have to screen each parent, and one question I ask them, “Is this something your child wants?” Whatever the situation they have to want it, period. No matter the sport, the best athletes have that passion. They don’t have to be asked to work at it, because they love it.

2. Not allowing them to fail-
Losing hurts and it should hurt. The pain eventually subsides, but if we remove the failure, setbacks, and allowing them ownership of their mistakes, than we actually cheapen the joy of winning. How can we truly appreciate winning and improvement if we have never lost? The safety net for children has become dangerously close to actually touching them. They know mom or dad will take care of it… Example: “I forgot my glove, my gatorade, jersey, goggles, putter, etc, Mom and dad will pick it up for me.”

3. Traveling too early-
It’s the gateway drug to specialization. Anything before late middle school is too early. A few travel tournaments or matches here and there is great, its fun! But even for young kids, the trips have become every single weekend. Here’s the danger, it becomes expensive and once they start traveling, it’s too easy to buy the idea that they now have to pick a sport and stay with it. Specialization isn’t all that either because the specific movements with different sports actually transfer. Jumping, running, throwing, all transfer across sports! Playing a variety of sports achieves that goal of skill development. Plus, each sport offers a unique advantage, competitiveness. When they learn to compete in many different sports, they will eventually transfer that skill of competitiveness to their favorite!

4. Not emphasize & reward effort-
Effort is everything. But, if we only emphasize the outcome, athletes will learn and internalize “all that matters is winning.” Players that are good will win early and often, until they no longer win. If parents only emphasize rankings, final scores, and talent, then taking risks, addressing weaknesses, and competing become afterthoughts. At some point, they are no longer the best, and they can become stuck in limbo between past expectations and low confidence. Question for sports parents: shouldn’t the best 12-year old in the nation almost always be one the best 18-year olds? Rarely happens because winning and outward appearance was rewarded instead.

5. Blame coach, system, or refs-
I was sitting next to a parent of a future DI basketball player whose brother had made it to the NBA. This sport parent was miserable and every single play or refs call that did not go his son’s way, was heard by everyone including his son. I cried on the inside, because there is no way that this kid was happy either. A little league coach once told me when he knew parents were talking about him because the kids would no longer look him in the eye. Sad…It’s about progress not perfection. It’s not your role to call or blame coach about playing time, change coaches or schools, or get a lesson every time they play bad.

6. Over-communicating with them–
There are good opportunities to talk about their performance and not good ones. During the game is NOT the appropriate time. However, all the time, parents are communicating with their son/daughter. Body language doesn’t talk, it screams, and they can see your negative behavior. Also, the stands can be packed with hundreds or thousands of screaming people, and the ONE voice they will recognize is yours! Why are you trying to coach them during their performance?

I get it, no one has an ugly child, but if he/she becomes great, then they will get noticed. Really want to be a good sport parent? Just tell them, “I love watching you play.”

Posted by

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. Written 6 Books on Mental Toughness. Works with Collegiate and Professionals.

Related Posts

  1. Pingback: Global partnerships

  2. Pingback: Professional ethics

  3. Pingback: Admission requirements for future university

  4. Pingback: Academic departments

  5. Pingback: البحث

  6. Pingback: Biochemistry

  7. Pingback: future university in egypt

  8. Pingback: Underprivileged dental care

  9. Pingback: الهدف من دراسة طب الفم والاسنان

  10. Pingback: Dental Medicine

  11. Pingback: الممارسة الصيدلانية والصيدلة السريرية

  12. Pingback: Future University in Egypt

  13. Pingback: attendance

  14. Pingback: best university in egypt

  15. Pingback: https://www.kooky.domains/post/how-to-evaluate-web3-domain-investments-for-potential-returns

  16. Pingback: https://www.kooky.domains/post/the-basics-of-web3-domains-what-you-need-to-know

  17. Pingback: https://www.kooky.domains/post/the-legal-landscape-of-web3-domain-name-ownership

  18. Pingback: https://www.kooky.domains/post/understanding-the-web3-decentralized-naming-system

  19. Pingback: وسائل الإعلام السياسي

  20. Pingback: Model American Presidency

  21. Pingback: مستقبل طب الاسنان

  22. Pingback: الانسحاب من الفصل الدراسي

  23. Pingback: Machine Learning

  24. Pingback: community responsibility

  25. Pingback: Petroleum Engineering

  26. Pingback: برامج الإقامة في طب الأسنان

  27. Pingback: PHD dental in future university in egypt

  28. Pingback: Application fee for future university

  29. Pingback: Maillot de football

  30. Pingback: Maillot de football

  31. Pingback: Maillot de football

  32. Pingback: Maillot de football

  33. Pingback: Maillot de football

  34. Pingback: Maillot de football

  35. Pingback: SEOSolutionVIP Fiverr

  36. Pingback: SEOSolutionVIP Fiverr

  37. Pingback: pannelli led design

  38. Pingback: binario led

  39. Pingback: dalle caoutchouc

  40. Pingback: machine musculation pectoraux

  41. Pingback: Fiverr Earn

  42. Pingback: Fiverr Earn

  43. Pingback: Fiverr Earn

  44. Pingback: Visualizza i prodotti

  45. Pingback: fiverrearn.com

  46. Pingback: fiverrearn.com

  47. Pingback: quietum plus buy

  48. Pingback: liv pure

  49. Pingback: clima

  50. Pingback: fiverrearn.com

  51. Pingback: puppies french bulldog

  52. Pingback: french bulldog puppies for sale los angeles

  53. Pingback: american bully lifespan

  54. Pingback: aussie doodle dog

  55. Pingback: seo in Romania

  56. Pingback: SMM

  57. Pingback: Piano Transport Company

  58. Pingback: Best university in Egypt

  59. Pingback: Top university in Egypt

  60. Pingback: Private universities in Egypt

  61. Pingback: golf cart rental isla mujeres

  62. Pingback: chocolate brindle french bulldog

  63. Pingback: mini french bulldog for sale

  64. Pingback: french bulldog adoption

  65. Pingback: rojo chocolate french bulldog

  66. Pingback: isabella merle french bulldog

  67. Pingback: crypto news

  68. Pingback: jewelry

  69. Pingback: micro frenchie for sale

  70. Pingback: bewerto

  71. Pingback: french bulldog for sale texas

  72. Pingback: Copper ring for women

  73. Pingback: future university

  74. Pingback: future university

  75. Pingback: future university

  76. Pingback: future university

  77. Pingback: delta gamma necklace

  78. Pingback: rolex hoodie

  79. Pingback: isla mujeres golf cart rentals

  80. Pingback: puppy french bulldogs for sale

  81. Pingback: Fiverr

  82. Pingback: Fiverr.Com

  83. Pingback: Fiverr

  84. Pingback: Fiverr

  85. Pingback: fue

  86. Pingback: golf cart rental isla mujeres

  87. Pingback: lean six sigma

  88. Pingback: french bulldogs houston for sale

  89. Pingback: Warranty

  90. Pingback: Piano storage solutions

  91. Pingback: Piano restoration company

  92. Pingback: Piano repairs

  93. Pingback: FUE

  94. Pingback: Interstate moving

  95. Pingback: Moving coordination

  96. Pingback: activate.bestbuy.accountonline.com account

  97. Pingback: Top business degrees in Egypt

  98. Pingback: Classic Books 500

  99. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  100. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  101. Pingback: Fiverr.Com

  102. Pingback: Fiverr

  103. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  104. Pingback: Training Philippines

  105. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  106. Pingback: Porno star Australia

  107. Pingback: Pupuk Organik terbaik dan terpercaya di pupukanorganik.com

  108. Pingback: partners

  109. Pingback: Environmental Policy

  110. Pingback: fort bite supplement

  111. Pingback: cachorros de bulldog frances

  112. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  113. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  114. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  115. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  116. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  117. Pingback: live sex cams

  118. Pingback: live sex cams

  119. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  120. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  121. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  122. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  123. Pingback: texas french bulldog puppies

  124. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  125. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  126. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  127. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  128. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  129. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  130. Pingback: Best University in Yemen

  131. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  132. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  133. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  134. Pingback: Milk

  135. Pingback: Scientific Research

  136. Pingback: Kampus Islam Terbaik

  137. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  138. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  139. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  140. Pingback: FiverrEarn

  141. Pingback: Generator Repair Sheffield

  142. Pingback: neotonics legit

  143. Pingback: cheap sex cams

  144. Pingback: fullersears.com

  145. Pingback: fullersears.com

  146. Pingback: french bulldog

  147. Pingback: live sex cams

  148. Pingback: live sex cams

  149. Pingback: live sex cams

  150. Pingback: live sex cams

  151. Pingback: Freeze dried

  152. Pingback: frt trigger

  153. Pingback: cannabis Ice Kream

  154. Pingback: 늑대닷컴

  155. Pingback: Trik menang slot online

  156. Pingback: One Peace AMV

  157. Pingback: nang sydney

  158. Pingback: SEO services Singapore

  159. Pingback: allgame

  160. Pingback: 918kiss

  161. Pingback: หวย24

  162. Pingback: Serum skincare

  163. Pingback: pg slot

  164. Pingback: Raahe Guide

  165. Pingback: aplikasi slot online provider Pragmatic Play

  166. Pingback: resort lake placid

  167. Pingback: upstate hotels

  168. Pingback: nutritional supplements

  169. Pingback: 6.5 prc ammo

  170. Pingback: duromine

  171. Pingback: 17 wsm

  172. Pingback: sicarios baratos precio

  173. Pingback: itsMasum.Com

  174. Pingback: itsMasum.Com

  175. Pingback: itsMasum.Com

  176. Pingback: salaires ingénieur informatique

  177. Pingback: ingenieur informaticien

  178. Pingback: Nangs delivery

  179. Pingback: Nangs delivery 24/7

  180. Pingback: website

  181. Pingback: itsmasum.com

  182. Pingback: chat free

  183. Pingback: random stranger chat

  184. Pingback: omegle chat

  185. Pingback: itsmasum.com

  186. Pingback: itsmasum.com

  187. Pingback: itsmasum.com

  188. Pingback: philadelphia jobs

  189. Pingback: washingtondc jobs

Have you done this? What can you add to this tip?